Tuesday Thoughts

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

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Do you ever have those days where you wake up and you just don’t feel like yourself? Like you get dressed, roll through your day, and go through the motions but you almost feel like you’re playing the lead in someone else’s life? Like you’re not really living your life for you, but for other people?

Sometimes I feel like this, and today has been one of those times. And I think I know why.

As a people pleaser, I tend to have this ridiculous and unrealistic worldview that everyone should get along and everyone should always be perfectly happy. I tend to put others above myself almost all the time to ensure this peace and while this may seem altruistic, it really has become a major pain in my ass. (Sorry for the language, like I said, I’m not feeling like myself today.) I will bend over backwards for people to make sure that they’re happy and satisfied even if I’m suffering because of it. It doesn’t matter how many times they drag me through the dirt and spit on my face after I’ve done all that I could for them, I continue to try to preserve these clearly toxic and broken relationships. I guess I somehow hold out hope that things will be different. Deep down in my heart I want things to be different and I blindly believe that if I sacrifice my happiness for theirs, then maybe things will improve.

Well, needless to say, I’m tired. I’m sick and tired. And I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

So I’ve been re-evaluating some of the friendships and connections I’ve made in the past few years and I’ve begun to realize that it’s time to cut ties with these people. I no longer want to try to salvage things. I no longer want to please them. I no longer want to give up my life and my happiness for someone who adds no value to either of those things.

And I think it’s about time.

2 comments:

  1. I understand where you are coming from. I am also a people pleaser. Good for you for putting your foot down and deciding to put yourself first. It definitely isn't easy.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Tabitha! It really is difficult but totally necessary as I'm sure you understand.

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