Progress not perfection

Monday, January 11, 2016

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It may be almost 2:30PM on a Monday, but I am bound and determined to get a post out today.

Things have been rough for me lately, you guys. I've got an entire post dedicated to why coming up - hopefully later this week - but until that's ready, I just need to write something. I feel like I've fallen off the raft and I've been struggling to get back up on it for quite some time.

Once the new year hit, I thought things would magically fall back into place and I would have all my shit together because I had this elaborate plan for how I was going to make changes. But clearly, as I sit here, coming off a cold on January 11th with my clear cut instructions for executing my "plan" looming over my head, nothing has changed. I'm struggling to even get out of bed in the morning, much less be crossing things off my list and making big life changes.

I mean for goodness sake, I have twelve weeks worth of meals planned, an entire outline of house projects for 2016 (with shopping lists!) all typed up and ready to go, but not a single thing has been prepped or a single project started. I've been trying for weeks to do the pre-training for this new workout plan but I never got to it, and today begins the real training so now I'll be behind if I don't get moving.

I'm not trying to sound like a complainer. I'm just so frustrated. It's like I'm trying to get my life in gear, but somehow I'm stuck in neutral. Somehow, despite all my careful planning, I remain stagnant.

After a long talk with my mom this morning, I came to realize that I often forget life absolutely does not play the rules. It can throw whatever it wants, whenever it wants, and there's nothing we can do about it. I can't help that I got sick. I can't help that I forgot to print out my list from my flash drive and I left the drive in my lunchbox at work. I can't help that I had to front the cost for another work trip to Belgium in a couple weeks, leaving me unable to make new purchases until the reimbursement comes in. All of these things have prevented me from accomplishing what I set out to do but what I didn't realize until now, is that I can still begin moving in the direction I want to go, even if it deviates from the route I originally had in mind.

I've realized that I need to learn to forgive myself. I need to learn to be more patient. I need to learn that it's okay for me to take smaller steps and simply resolve to make progress. It doesn't have to be what I planned. It doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be forward.

4 comments:

  1. So glad you shared your thoughts and had the chance to write. Life doesn't care what your plans are or how you want things to go but one thing that has taken me a VERY long time to learn is that if we don't go with the flow we are only hurting ourselves. Can't wait to see you Monday and squish you! xoxo

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    1. I know I can't wait!! :) Thank you, girl. It's good to start writing it all out again.

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  2. I am so sorry that you are dealing with so many things at one time, and I really wish I could just reach out and help with with everything. Life really just happens, and there isn't a single thing you can do about it besides let it. I hope things turn up for you (not like turn up meaning "turnt up" like drinking 4 bottles of wine haha) you deserve it!! I can't wait to see you next week! xoxo

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    1. Thanks Macy, I appreciate it. It's been rough lately and I just feel like I haven't been myself for a little while. I'm ready to get back on the horse! And hey, I'm alright with getting turnt drinking 4 bottles of wine too ;)

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